Us Against Them . . .
Why it's you and your husband against the world . . . or at least against your kids.
Effective Ways to Manage Pain in Marriage
Because throwing pots and pans is not an option.
The Truth About Raising Young Adults
Can you handle the truth?
Why Temper-Tantrum Parenting Might Just Help You Make the Rapture
Yes, being a flawed mom is OK

Why It’s OK for Christian Moms to Keep-it-Real

So…I’m really, really tired . . . 

and I’m supposed to stay up and blog away so I can put out posts with some degree of regularity…enough regularity to make readers come back on a regular basis.

But I’ve one question . . .

How do you do that when you’re so tired from all the mommy hats your wear all day?

Today’s post is not about 20 Ways to Have a Better (fill in the blank) or 10 Fool Proof Marriage Tips or anything silly like that (maybe tomorrow, but not today!).

Today’s post is about what most of us mothers experience on a daily basis: It’s about how we keep going and put one foot in front of the other when we’re so fatigued that we can’t see straight!  It’s about how we do this amazing thing called motherhood when we are angry, confused, afraid, stressed out and trying to make sense of it all – and not be phony – it’s about how we need to keep it real?

It’s late!  And I’m sitting in my pj’s and my hair looks like I stuck my finger into an electric socket.  It should – it’s way past the bedtime of most normal people.

I started my day with homeschool co-op (which was amazing!) and afterwards I ran errands, did some administrative work, spent time with the family and then ran out for groceries.  We finished up the evening eating Cocoa Pebbles cereal because I’m coo coo for Cocoa puffs and I always make certain that my kids have a nutritious and well-balanced meal – or not!  (I’m not so sure Michelle Obama would approve.)

What made today’s homeschool co-op so amazing?  A group of us mommies were sitting around having coffee and sharing about our perceived failures, yet glorifying God for His goodness.

The most amazing thing happens when Christian women get together: they share candidly and transparently and let their holy, yet knotted and tangled hair down.  They take the “S” off of their chests – the “S” that stands for Super Mom.  Sisters that you didn’t even know could talk above a whisper are sharing from the depths of their heart and bearing their soul; and in their sharing you hear your story – the one you’ve never told anyone from fear of being judged and scorned by other Christian woman.

 

super-mom-cape-cartoon-copy

You sit there listening…and everything in your spirit bears witness with what’s being said…and all of a sudden you feel like you have permission to be real – to be your REAL self – to not be someone who puts on a front to appear super spiritual – or even mildly spiritual!

You hear about those proverbial miles walked on painful emotional roads in moccasins that you hope you never have to wear…and the one common thread in each and every sharing is how God was faithful and ever present, even when we were unfaithful and tried to run as far away from Him as we could.

This post is for the REAL mom…the one who wanted to read her Bible at the crack of dawn, but fell into bed two hours prior, rocking a colicky baby to sleep.  When she finally awakens, her kids keep her busy with spills and diaper changes and feedings, and all the while she’s telling herself she’s going to get to her Bible.  And then it’s time for dinner and to please Dad, and to clean up, and bathe and put the kids to bed.  All of a sudden it’s 10pm and the Bible finally opens while she’s sitting up in bed, but her head drops right between its parted pages – she’s out like a light!  And she lives everyday feeling inadequate when comparing herself to other Christian moms.

What a farce!
Dear Christian Mom: You have permission to keep-it-real!
We are REAL Christian moms . . .

We yell!

We scream!

We drop the proverbial ball.

We eat cereal for dinner.

We feel like failures.

We are certain we’re screwing up the kids.

We only wash laundry when we run out of underwear.

We frustrate our husbands.

We are not perfect!

But we always hear our Father’s voice: the one compelling us to come aside and to be with Him.  The voice that reassures us that He loves us – NO MATTER WHAT!  The voice that reminds us that even the ugliest version of ourselves couldn’t scare Him away and that we are forever His, so we can stop all the fretting and living a works-oriented Christian life – an “Abba Father, am I good enough for you?” life.

Somehow, Father God takes all of our fatigue, mess, uncertainty and “worst-day-ever’s” and weaves it into a tapestry of beauty – by His great grace and for His glory.

Good night, Ms. Messy, Beautiful, Forgiven and Perfect in Christ – You!

Tiffiney

Let’s keep the conversation going: I’d love to hear how you manage to “keep it real” with all the challenges you face as a mom in your day-to-day-parenting.  Post a comment below to share.

I shared this article at these amazing faith and family linkups.


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Comments

    • Hey Iva! Thanks so much! Yes, I love my mommy community – they are the best and I am so blessed! Please come again. :o)

  1. Thanks for keeping it real – it encourages me to read about Christian moms who are regular people with hopes, dreams, and frustrations, too. I’m looking forward to reading more of and sharing your blog. Thanks!

    • Hey Amanda! I’m so glad you were able to stop by, and thanks for sharing this around cyberspace. Blessings to you!

  2. It sounds like you have an amazing community of Christian moms that help you to be real in your life and your parenting. That is so important! I also think that being able to admit our shortcomings instead of trying to pretend we’re perfect (like I see so many Christians trying to do) is a big way to “keep it real” and not put unnecessary expectations or pressure on ourselves. And, of course, it helps to have people like you who are willing to speak out about the importance of being real so that the rest of us feel like we can be real, too! 🙂

    • Hello there, Andrea! Yes, I do belong to an amazing community of Christian moms. I love them so. They are my lifeline! :o) Thanks so much for stopping by my neck of the blogosphere. Please come again, soon!”o)

  3. Can definitely relate! I felt like I had to be Supermom for years – especially within my homeschool circle. When I finally let go of that idea and began sharing my reality with other moms, it was so freeing! We are all unique and our life circumstances are as well. Finding enough grace for the day is sufficient.

    • Hi Stephanie! Yes, we can definitely fall into the trap of feeling like we have to have it all together – especially if we homeschool. It’s so nice to know that in Christ, we can feel safe taking the Supermom “S” off of our chest and letting our hair down. Blessings to you and thanks for stopping by!

  4. Wow, Tiffiney, this post is amazing! (I found you through blogelina) I will definitely be coming back to your blog. My heart is also to be real in mothering and marriage. It would be great to connect with you! And I absolutely love your web design!!

    • Hey Denise! I’m so glad that you found me! (Thanks Blogelina!) And so glad you like the blog design. It’s my second time around and I love it too. :o)

      Your blog is lovely as well! I see you’re about keeping it REAL too (get it – REAL?) Let’s stay in touch my new friend. :o)

        • Hi Denise! I’m so grateful that you were able to stop by and be encouraged by what I’ve shared. Thanks so much for the “share” my bloggy friend!

  5. Beautiful, Tiffiney. Years ago I had a wise older mom tell me that sometimes you just have to lay it all at the feet of Jesus and beg Him to fill in all the gaps you’ve left behind as a weary wife and mother. Thankfully His grace can do that. Where would we be without it?

    Thanks for dropping by my blog. And for inviting me over for a Coke! 😉 Nice meeting you today!

    • Hey Tonya!

      I LOVE what the older, wiser momma told you years ago. It’s not only truth, it’s sheer poetry. I think I’ll print and post it in my home. And it shall be my daily prayer. :o)

  6. Oh, my friend, I spent so many years as a young mother not being real – for fear that everyone else (whom I thought was “perfect”) would leave if they knew how I struggled.
    Then, lo and behold, I got real and found out I wasn’t alone, after all.
    So thankful for God’s grace and patience through the years.
    Thanks for posting these words. May many, many moms be encouraged because of them!

    • Hi Karen!

      What a great thing when we can come out of the “Super Mom” closet. I’m so glad you enjoyed the post. Thanks for commenting and please stop by again soon.

      Trying to Keep it Real, Tiffiney!

  7. Great post! So thankful for His grace!

    Thanks for your realness. We don’t need to worry about falling short and being the perfect parent. He forgives and He gives us strength.

  8. I’m right there with ya girl! Who needs underwear anyway. It got so bad around here that I went out and just bought my kids more underwear so I would have more time in between loads. Ugh! It’s never ending and it’s not all kisses and cuddles. Messes are made and beds never are. The house can be in utter chaos. Kids room a mess, shut the door…we just live with it and make sure the living room is always in good condition. At least that’s how I’m able to function. Happy to cross paths with you today.

    P.S. You’re doing GREAT!!! Keep up the good work Mom and wear your “S” with pride. 🙂

    • Hey Celi! You really crack me up! I’m heading to the store tomorrow to buy more undies so I don’t go into panic mode before I wash again. :o) (Yeah right – I’ll probably go into panic mode anyway.) :o)

      Thanks for stopping by, and thanks for your encouragement. The next time I have some quiet time and a nice cup of coffee, I’ll be sure to stop by your neck of the woods @time2refuel.

      Blessings!
      Tiffiney

  9. TIFFINEY,

    How many times can I say, “Amen”!? Thank you for speaking such truth and eloquence into not only my mama heart, but also into my pastor’s wife heart! There are so, so many days where I feel like I’m just not measuring up. So many days where I feel like I need to play the part. But, goodness, am I thankful for godly friends that allow me to bare it all and for a heavenly Father that gives me grace – new every single morning! I’m so undeserving!

    I’d love to feature you at this week’s Grace & Truth link up! It looks like you have our button, but it’s linking incorrectly. Would you mind linking to http://www.satisfactionthroughchrist.com/category/grace-truth and letting me know when you do! I’ll be featuring you on Friday!

    • Hi Christie!

      Thanks so much for stopping by! I am so glad that you were blessed by my humble offering and I’m totally elated that you’ve chosen to feature my post. I was so tired when I wrote that post and I decided not to try to write anything eloquent, but to just be honest and share my tired and weary heart. I’m glad it resonated with you and I’m prayerful that it will resonate and minister to the women who read it on your blog this Friday.

      I’ve gone ahead and corrected the link! (Thanks for pointing that out.)

      God bless you, my Keepin’-it-Real sister in Christ!

  10. Been there, done that! Probably once a week, if not more!
    Thanks for keeping it real and not being afraid to encourage others to keep it real as well.

    I appreciate you linking up with us on Grace&Truth!

    God bless!

  11. I appreciate this post!! When I started a women’s Bible study I wasn’t sure what to expect. I started it to be faithful to something I felt God was wanting me to do but I felt so inadequate to be the leader of the group. Once we started meeting I realized that all of the women in the group felt just like me. There is something so nice and comforting about hearing other women say that they have been there before and they actually understand what I am saying when I say that one thing that I am almost too afraid to share. And the washing clothes for the clean underwear – thank you for making me feel like I’m not the only one!!!

    • Hey Stephanie, I can completely relate to what you’ve shared. Kudos to you on stepping out in faith and obeying God’s prompting to lead a women’s group. I can only imagine how God has used your group to touch the lives of the ladies, and you too. Blessings and thanks for stopping by!

  12. It is so great to get together and actually share truth with others. I don’t think we as moms, women, or Christians do it enough! What encouragement we can find when we do. I too have been coo coo for cocoa puffs after a long day! Thanks for the encouragement visiting today from Grace and Truth

    • Hi KC, I so appreciated your kind comments. Good to know I’m not alone in cyberworld! :o) Thanks for stopping by!

  13. The most difficult thing about living a lie is that you can’t give it up. Perhaps this is why so many women, once they hit 40 or so, announce, “This is who and what I am. Deal with it.”

    Fortunate is the woman who can figure this out much earlier.

    God never asks us to be someone we’re not, and indeed, when we put on a face, we only hinder His being able to work with us and teach us, so that we can actually become the person we were born to be.

    May you continue to be richly blessed with people in your life with whom you can be real.

  14. Thanks so much, Blogelina, for choosing Welcome Home Minisitry as your featured blog of the week. It’s so exciting! Woot Woot! :o)

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