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Leap of Faith: What if Following Your Husband Meant Losing Everything?

Recently, I went to see Woman in Gold,  a movie about an elderly Jewish woman who returns to Vienna six decades after WWII in order to reclaim family belongings that were once seized by the Nazis.  It was really good.  Go see it or rent it!

WOMAN IN GOLD

As with much of what I watch, I saw a character struggle with an issue that most – if not all wives – wrestle with at some point in their marriage: the issue of trust and letting go. 

In the film, a lawyer husband, who is gainfully employed, decides to leave the security of his job out of a compulsion to use his time and energy to solve a personal, life altering case.

He makes the decision to quit without telling his wife.  (Something I’ve done before.)  And when his pregnant wife finds out, she’s understandably shocked and disturbed, and reminds him that they have a baby on the way with only two months savings…and then what?

He reassures her that everything will be OK and is able to convince her that this is something he must do… if he doesn’t, his soul will shrivel up and die (my words – not his).

It’s one thing to watch that scenario on the silver screen; it’s another thing to live it out.

How well would you deal with that? 

leap of faith with text

This is something I’ve actually given much thought to…following my husband into the uncertainty of the future.

I like certainty.  I like nice things.  I like the life that I have. 

I’M A NESTER – I don’t want to wake up three months, or six months from now and realize that we have to leave our home because we can no longer afford it.

Truthfully, I love my homeand that might be the problem.

Later in the film, when the family is living on their savings the wife goes into labor, but she will have to deliver the baby without her husband…he is scheduled to appear before the Supreme Court who will make a decision on his case.

In that moment, the husband is terribly conflicted: how could he miss the birth of his child?

But his wife, though her water has broken, is surprisingly as calm as a cucumber and reassures him that everything is going to be fine.  She tells him that she will follow him as he follows his heart – as long as they are together.

What if your husband made a decision that could potentially turn your world upside-down?

Years ago, when I attended the funeral of a loved one, another relative said of the deceased: If only he was a steady man; he was always using his money on one of those get rich schemes. 

That statement was made by a significant authority and mentor in my life.  As a young and impressionable wife (at the time) it impacted me profoundly, and to this day, plays over and over in my mind.  From it, I learned that husbands should not take risks and should be predictable.  If they aren’t, others will pity me if things go south.

In this movie review, I profile the true story of a wife who did not support her husband’s vision for the family.  To be fair, a year or so earlier in their marriage they took a major financial risk which did not end well and was about to land them in financial ruin – but they still had each other.

Eventually, the husband learned of an opportunity to make a good living, but it would require some sacrifice and the outcome was uncertain.  However, his every attempt was met with criticism and disdain by his wife, who eventually walked out on him, declaring that this wasn’t the life she had signed up for.

Now alone, the husband persevered through some of the toughest situations a person could face – and he did it as a single dad.  His grit and determination eventually paid off and he became filthy rich, but unfortunately, he did it by himself, without his helpmeet.

That wasn’t a typical outcome (becoming rich) but what if we, as wives, were faced with a similar predicament?

Would we trust and support our husbands? 
Would we be willing to follow our husbands into the uncertainty of the future? 
Would we take the leap?

Earlier in my marriage, I beat back my husband’s entrepreneurial spirit in an attempt to live a comfortable and predictable life.  Looking back on that decision, I wish I would have responded differently.  But I may still get a chance to.

Once again, I find myself faced with the opportunity to support my husband’s entrepreneurial endeavors or smash them to smithereens!

Truth is, I like his full time job…it enables me to stay at home with the kids and keeps the wheels of our modest lifestyle spinning round and round.

I don’t want to hear about change, definitely not any significant change, unless it involved us moving on up to the “East Side” {think the Jefferson’s} or to a big suburban home.

I definitely don’t want to hear about anything that involves sacrifice or possibly loosing what we currently have – that is a definite NO NO!

And when he shares his grand ideas with me, I find myself passively listening and wishing that “this conversation” wasn’t happening.

I find myself being challenged with loving my life so much that I can’t give it up.  When “giving it up” is the very thing that Christ asks me to do every day.  

Which woman will I be? 

Captive Treasure is a book that tells the true story of a little girl’s abduction by Cheyenne Indian raiders, set in the 1850’s. Right before her her abduction, her family set out to travel west on a wagon trail and the little girl’s mother has to give away almost all of her earthly belongings to lighten the wagon load.  Ultimately, she is only able to take a few articles of clothing on the trip.  (Ouch!)

After her abduction, when the little girl is separated from her parents, she fondly recollects when her mother had to part with her prized possessions, that her face had reflected only peace.  She remembers her mother quoting Hebrews 13:5, “…and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”

This is the narrative of a woman who held the things of this world loosely, not tightly.  She had to part with everything that brought her comfort to start a new life elsewhere, though the outcome of her move would be uncertain.  She had to trust her husband’s leading.  She had to trust her God, and she drew comfort from the Holy Scriptures.  She certainly took the leap!

The more I’m faced with these challenges, the more I realize . . .

I don’t want the sacrifice that accompanies trust.

I don’t want the uncertainty that comes with taking the leap.

I realize that my hands are fists – tightly clenched – holding on for dear life to the blessings that God has given me, instead of open hands that freely receive and release.   

I’m learning that I need to trust my husband’s lead; and if I can’t trust him, then I can certainly trust God . . .

I should trust that God is directing my life through my husband’s decision – no matter the outcome.

I should get those voices out of my head – voices of the past – and not think so highly of myself or my reputation before men that as a wife I’m above living through hardship – should it come as a result of following my husbands’ lead.

This is not an easy thing!  And I’m certain that if I experienced it I wouldn’t have an angelic smile on my face or quote Hebrews 13:5 in the process, BUT I need to move toward that direction because taking the leap is worth it!

Trusting radically and holding the things of this world loosely will always be a challenge?  And perhaps that’s the way God intended it to be.  If it were easy, it wouldn’t require faith.  If there were no struggle to relinquish, how would we prove our love and devotion for God?

Here’s to taking the leap!

Tiffiney

Join in the conversation: Am I onto something here with this “take the leap” thing or have I just gone too far?  Have you already taken the leap in some way in your marriage?  Post a comment below to share.  I’d love to hear from you!

I’ve shared this article at these fabulous faith and family link-ups.

Comments

  1. I love your posts, Tiffiney. This one is no exception. You have touched on something I think us wives need to keep in mind about our hubbies…many need to take risks…if not all men. Several years ago, my husband was in a rut. I could see he was feeling depressed and not himself. I started praying for him. Eventually, he started to take risks again – and I encouraged him to do so because I saw him starting to come alive again! He started doing something he was passionate about. And he was happy again. Eager. you bet it was a risk for us and it would cost us money…but it did not take away from his ‘steadiness’. I wonder…that family member whose funeral you attended where someone else said ‘if only he had been more steady’ – was that man ‘happy’ when he was alive? Was he passionate about whatever he was doing? Hmmm…
    Thanks for linking up with Grace and Truth again. It is a pleasure to have you!

    • Hi Aimee! I’m so glad to hear that you’ve actually walked this road and discovered that it was well worth it! How exciting is your testimony of your support to encouragement to your husband. And what a blessing to hear that he was revived again in his spirit – all because you spurred him on. I only hope and pray that if I’m ever confronted with such a challenge that I will rise to it . . . because it’s so worth it! Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing. :o)

      Tiffiney
      P.S. I’m not sure if my relative was happy as it was a long distance relationship, but I’d like to think that his wife was A-OK with him being him!

  2. I am putting Women in Gold on my to watch list. Thank you. Yes, I will follow my husband. Maybe it is easier for me to say since he is very practical and level headed, but he is the man I am married to, love and am in love with. God has blessed our marriage and I trust God and my husband. I am looking up to the Lord.

  3. Yes, it’s such a hard endeavor to trust our husbands, Tiffiney. But I try to remind myself that it is also a perfect opportunity to learn to trust and submit to the Lord, since that’s ultimately who is at the helm of our lives anyway. Btw, I loved that movie too and remember that scene when his wife gave him permission to follow through on his commitment to the case. I don’t know if I would have done the same thing as she did, but I do appreciate the trust and support she had in her husband. Great and thought-provoking post, my friend! Something we all need to grapple with.

  4. Such an encouraging post. Following the Lord, even while stepping on the trail with our husband, isn’t always easy – isn’t always convenient. Your post has me pondering. I want to follow, but what if that “follow” was radical, uncomfortable, inconvenient? I’ll be praying over this…and taking any leaps the Lord prepares. Thanks Tiffiney. #testimonyTuesday

    • Hey Kristi! Yes, this is a real toughie. No matter how prepared you think you are for something like this, dealing with the reality of it can really take you for a spiritual loop! But I truly believe that as long as we’re discussing these tough ways to support our husbands, if such a thing were to arise, we will be better prepared to be the godly, supportive help meet the Lord has called us to be. Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your heart.

    • Hi Debbie! I’m so glad to hear that you “took the leap” and had no regrets! Thanks so much for stopping by to share. What an encouragement for others to hear. :o)

  5. Such great reminders I love your thought that if you can’t trust your husband you can trust God’s leading of him. Reminds me of the passage in Ephesians of husbands being like Christ to the church, of treating and loving wives as themselves. I believe even when we are unsure of our husbands decisions as long as we are sure of their following of Christ then the trust is easier. Visiting from Grace and Truth.

    • Hi Winter, what a great name!

      You know, I’d love to take credit for that sentiment: If you can’t trust your husband, then trust God, but I got that sentiment from my pastor. When I heard it, it was an “aha” moment for me. We don’t have to fear following and trusting our husbands when we understand that God is leading our life – no matter what. He know’s the “life trip” our husband will take us on, and he will give us the grace to go along for the ride! Our footsteps are ordered of the Lord!

      Thanks for stopping over from Grace and Truth!

  6. Hey Tiffieny,

    I really like your website! Found it on the “Grace and Truth” Link up.

    Thanks for a very encouraging post about trusting God while trusting your husband. I especially like this part, “I should trust that God is directing my life through my husband’s decision – no matter the outcome.”

    20 years ago, God led my husband (and our family) into full-time ministry. Although it’s been challenging at times, I wouldn’t have it any other way. God is faithful.

    Appreciate you and your ministry~
    Blessings,
    Melanie

    • Hi Melanie!

      I’m glad to hear that you took “the leap” and are really enjoying it. God certainly has an interesting way of directing our lives!

      Thanks for stopping by from Grace and Truth and happy to hear you’re enjoying this site! Be sure to come back soon.

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