Building a home takes effort. Nurturing a home takes heart. But know this, the drive you need to build and nurture your family is found in this one thing: your vision for your home.
This post explains why your family vision is your compass, your GPS to achieving the family you desire.
The Story Behind My Family Vision
I remember it like it was just yesterday. That moment is forever etched in my mind. The essence of that memory forever lives in my heart.
It’s the memory of my grandmother – aged, slightly hunched over, and walking into her kitchen as she offered me a meal: “Are you hungry, sugar? There’s some biscuits on the stove, over there.”
I may have grown-up in Brooklyn, New York, but I spent nearly every summer of my childhood “down south” in North Carolina, happily bouncing around from one relative’s home to the next.
My father is one of 13 children with southern roots, which gave me – a skinny, little city kid who was accustomed to sidewalks and streetlights – an opportunity to run barefoot on dirt roads every summer while visiting a host of family members.
My grandmother’s home was the designated drop-off point. And though my grandmother has since passed, the one thing that I cannot forget about her, the one thing that I remember more than anything else, is how incredibly welcoming she was – and that she always offered food.
I don’t exactly know which summer it happened – the summer I decided that I wanted to be just like her, the summer in which that one memory of her was forever imprinted in my mind – but it happened, nonetheless. And it’s been a driving force in my life ever since.
That memory of my grandma has impacted many of the decisions I’ve made as a mom.
I’ve turned down jobs that would have afforded my family a different (but not better) life; jobs that would have catapulted my family into a different tax bracket, brought us the vacations we don’t take now, and afforded us a home in a different zip code.
The reason I turned them down is because they were inconsistent with my vision of motherhood. My vision for family-life was not going to allow me to work outside of the home.
Some people want to be famous. Some people want their name written in lights. Others want to make enough money to wear red-bottom heels.
All of that is fine, I guess, if a person’s motives are right, but my heart keeps bringing me back to the memory of a woman who didn’t seem to have many worldly goods, but in essence, she had it all: she was dearly loved by her children and always gave herself wholly to her family.
I don’t know why I’m wired this way…why I’ve chosen to idolize a woman who, by some people’s standards, lived a life that wasn’t (educationally or financially) enviable . . . on second thought, actually I do know why: it’s because I want what she had, and money can’t buy it.
Your family vision will undoubtedly be different from mine. Yours might even allow you to buy red-bottom shoes. 😊 It may not require you to sacrifice your income, or demand that you home school your children, nor it doesn’t have to!
Though no two “visions” will be exactly the same, it is still essential that you have one, and here’s why…
What is Vision and Why You Need It
The dictionary defines vision as the ability to think about or plan the future with imagination or wisdom.
For our purposes, vision is the family picture you see with your mind’s eye, a mental picture produced by your imagination, based on the wisdom of God’s holy word.
Your family vision will serve as your compass, your GPS to achieving the family life you desire. It holds you steady when you are struggling to forge ahead in family life.
In her book, A Woman After God’s Own Heart, Elizabeth George describes it this way:
“[as a visionary] I have to plan the family picture and select the color, threads and textures according to what I want the finished tapestry to look like, and I have to pay attention to the details along the way. This project will take effort and time each day. The effort and activity – the time, work and care, the mental and physical muscle – all combine to make a…beautiful [home life].”
If we do not have an ideal (family picture) we are working towards, then we are simply reacting to life (randomly selecting colors, threads and textures) instead of being proactive or deliberate about our family’s well being.
Eventually, this may lead to a very distorted tapestry or family outcome.
Take a moment to ask yourself:
- Have I given serious thought to my home life?
- Have I envisioned what I want our family picture to be?
- Have I considered what color, threads, and textures (steps) I will use to achieve this outcome?
“A simple man believes anything, but a prudent man gives thought to his steps” (Proverbs 14:15)
God wants us to be women who are visionaries, women who look ahead and have ideals, dreams, and goals regarding our family. If you don’t already have one, ask the Lord to help you cast a fresh vision for your home today.
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