Fighting for “Happily Ever After” in Your Marriage

Every morning when I awake it’s there, staring at me. Hanging on the wall before me.

It’s the first thing my eyes focus on just before I fling back my covers to get out of bed.

As the plaque hangs there it quizzes me, constantly questioning if its pithy expression is a reality in my own marriage…

When I first laid my eyes upon this romantic sentiment, it captured my heart!

I just knew I had to have it. So I happily purchased it and brought it home.

I hung it on my bedroom wall, right between two happy portraits of my husband and myself.

I believe its sentiment expresses every woman’s hearts desire for her marriage: for her own personal love story to be the highest earthly expression of romantic love

But truth be told, there were days when its romantic message was NOT my reality.

In fact, sometimes I would wake up, look at that plaque and say, “Oh, shut up already!

Once, I even vowed to take it down, but something inside me said: Really Tiff? That’s your answer? Don’t you want something better for your marriage? No! Leave it there – leave it hanging and fight to make its’ message your reality.

God is Masterful at Getting our Attention.

Whether its getting our attention through wall art, or by having another circumstance cause us to question the less than enviable truth of our reality, you can believe the Holy Spirit will reveal the dry areas in our marriage.

It reminds me of a story we find in Ezekiel 37: 1-10.

Although this passage is referencing the children of Israel, it’s one of my all-time favorites because it demonstrates God’s supernatural ability to resurrect the dead areas of our lives as believers in Christ.

God’s word offers hope, instruction, and guidance for righteous living (2 Timothy 3:16-17), and I believe this passage in Ezekiel offers abundant hope and inspiration for any woman who is willing to fight for her Happily Ever After.

Here are a several takeaways I’ve gleaned from this supernatural text.

They’d make great action steps for any wife who’s looking to nurture her marriage.

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#1. Don’t Front!

Don’t front is a fun and youthful way to say be honest or keep it real, and it definitely applies here. The first thing God did was to show Ezekiel just how bad the situation was.

He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry.(v. 2)

Ezekiel had to first acknowledge just how bad things were. If you need to work on your marriage, don’t front! Acknowledgement is half the battle.

#2. Believe!

The very next thing God did was to ask Ezekiel if he believed that a miracle could happen; if he believed that that the dry bones could live:

He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones live?” (v.3)

God didn’t need Ezekiel’s opinion, but He cares about what we think?

Do you believe that God can supernaturally breathe life and vitality into your marriage? We must have faith that He can.

#3. Speak Life into Your Marriage.

Next, God told Ezekiel to prophesy to the dry bones.

‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. (v. 4-5)

I don’t know about you, but I get goose bumps just reading this verse!

We speak life into our marriage by confessing our love to our husband, by speaking well of him to others, and by praying God’s word over his life.

Just as Ezekiel spoke the word of the Lord to the dry bones, we need to speak God’s word to the dry areas of our marriage. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue…” (Proverbs 18:21)

#4. Take Heart!

Don’t become discouraged or jaded if things don’t improve right away.

The first time Ezekiel prophesied to the dry bones they did respond miraculously, but not in the way that God had fully intended. Ezekiel had to prophecy a second time.

And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them. (v. 7-8)

So take heart! Don’t become weary in your pursuit of a better marriage because the rewards are so worth the hard work. (Galatians 6:9)

#5. Don’t Quit!

Be persistent and continue to wait on the Lord for direction in what to pray.

God told Ezekiel to pray a second time – specifically for “breath” to enter the dry bones – and this time they became animate beings!

‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come, breath, from the four winds and breathe into these slain, that they may live.’” So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet—a vast army. (v. 9-10)

Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!

I certainly hope these actions steps have got you fired-up and ready to fight for your Happily Ever After!

I’ve had to use them in my own marriage, and I’ve just got to share with you how God is continually blowing my mind. . .

You’re Not Going to Believe This!

You know how traditional wedding vows include the phrase for better or for worse? Well, my marriage started with the worse and then became better.

That left a bitter taste in my mouth for years and led me to believe that my love story was pretty jacked up – no matter how good it presently is – and could never be “my favorite.”

Well, call me crazy, but today, I LOVE my love story! 

Not because it’s a classic fairy tale love story.

Not because it’s been smooth sailing since the day we said, “I Do.”

But because I’m learning to TRUST God.

I’m learning that God writes the best stories of all, and there’s NO way I could EVER do a better job than Him at writing my love story.

He writes our stories with purpose and intentionality.

So I can rest in knowing that my story is not an accident, it’s not second rate, and it has been designed specifically for me.

And that, my friend, makes me one optimistic wife who is learning to love her Happily Ever After.

Fighting the good fight in faith and family life,

How about you? Are you nurturing your Happily Ever After? Which of these 5 actions steps might you take this week to help make YOUR love story your favorite? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Post a comment below to share!

If you like this post please encourage the heart of another woman and share it on social media. Thanks a bunch!


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Comments

  1. Yay, Tiffiney! Preach, girl! My husband and I will, Lord willing, celebrate 34 years together this June–but we’ve definitely had to fight for our marriage. Thank you for sharing the truth.

    Thanks so much for joining the Grace at Home party at Imparting Grace. I’m featuring you this week!

  2. After 32 years, I can say had each of us not stayed and fought, we would not have made it. It can be so difficult, but there are sweet blessings on the other side. And the legacy we build through the fight is so worth it. Great encouragement here, Tiffiney!

    • Hey Crystal, Now that I’m on the other side, I can not believe how sweet those blessings are. I am so grateful to God that he kept me.

  3. Tiffiney, this is wonderful! I wholeheartedly agree about FIGHTING for our happily ever after. We celebrated 30 years last year and it’s is by God’s hand alone that we have made it and still love each other. Much of what you suggest helped us profoundly in our marriage. Well done!! Happy to share ??

  4. Great advice, Tiffany. I think the poster you have is at the right spot – front and center, the first thing you see when you wake up. I think “Happily Ever After” is not a realistic destination. We keep writing our story for our entire lives!

  5. Great advice! I think all marriages go through a tough time as we learn to live together and die to self. Selfishness kills marriages. I keep pictures around from when we were dating to remind me and help me keep those romantic feelings of when we were just getting to know each other and I thought he was the cat’s meow.
    I’ve heard many people say that marriage gets better after year 10 and again after year 15 and I have to agree. We moved into another level of love and trust year 10. Then, I remember year 14 as kinda rocky, while year 15 has been bliss!

    • Hey Janine, I love your idea of keeping pictures around from when you dated. That is so sweet and a great reminder of your love for each other when it was red hot. ❤

  6. The movies make it look so simple – as if “happily ever after” is something that just magically happens – when the reality is that, as you say, it can be a fight. I enjoyed your reflections here.

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