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The Pursuit of Happyness: A wife who lacks the strength to endure hard times

 

The Pursuit of Hayypness

 PG 13, 2006 ‧ Drama/Biography ‧ 2h 25m

So, who hasn’t seen the Pursuit of Happyness?

I’m asking a rhetorical question here because this movie was definitely one to watch, and I’d be surprised to learn that there are more than a handful of people out there who haven’t seen it.  Are you one of them?

I may be overreaching with the handful thing but seriously, this movie has true meaning. It’s based on the real life story of Chris Gardner and his nearly one-year-long struggle with homelessness.  If perchance you haven’t seen it, go rent it now, before you finish reading this review.  It’s that good!  If you enjoy rejoicing with people who overcome insurmountable odds, you’ll love this movie.

“Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.”  (Romans 12: 15)

There’s a lot of awesomeness happening in this movie, but my take home is about a wife who crumbles under the weight of living a life she never envisioned for herself.

Chris Gardner (Will Smith) and his wife Linda (Thandie Newton) are already struggling in their marriage when Gardner decides to invest his entire life’s savings into what appears to be a promising business. (Ouch!)  Financially, he and Linda put everything on the line.  That’s undoubtedly a very scary thing for any wife to accept.  It was a bold, all-or-nothing move.  But what if life (by God’s design) hands you the “nothing” side of the equation?

Will and Linda The Pursuit of Happyness

Eventually, things get hard, really hard for the Chris and Linda; and Chris and his young son end up homeless and struggle through the hardest time of their lives without a wife/mom by their side to make their hardship more bearable and their disappointment lighter.

And where is Linda?  Linda is gone!  She left somewhere in between hard and really hard.

I never promised you a rose garden

Linda didn’t believe in her husband’s vision for the family.  She rejected it.  It wasn’t neatly packaged and it wasn’t yielding any immediate fruit.  Though they both had mediocre jobs, when her husband told her about his vision to become a stockbroker she insulted him by saying, “Why not an astronaut?”  She shot down his dreams.  When he was selected for a much coveted internship at a prestigious company she said, “Salesman to intern is going backwards.”

Perhaps Linda was expecting a bed of roses from her life with Chris; if not roses, then at least fragrant flowers – not bushel of thorns!  At one point in the movie she tells Chris, “You’re the one who dragged us down.” Her life wasn’t going the way she had planned. They were struggling greatly and she didn’t agree with, or respect his business decisions.  She needed him to get on with the business of paying bills, not dreaming of grandiose plans on how to have a better life.  Moreover, because she didn’t understand or agree with his plan she was a resentful partner.

Personal reflections

Linda made a regrettable decision, but I can relate to her sense of despair.  I’ve been where she was – feeling like my life was one bad ride that I desperately wanted to get off of.  When my husband and I were newly married he was very ambitious and entrepreneurial in spirit.  He had big dreams and sought the path to financial independence through various sales jobs.  He even had his own commercial cleaning service.  But a new wife and four kids in three years has a way of knocking the wind right out of a man’s entrepreneurial sails.  Well, that . . . and me.  I knocked the wind out of his sails, too.

I didn’t understand why he wanted to “own his own.”  If he didn’t have a permanent job with steady income, paid vacation, and a 401K plan, then what was the point?  Much like Chris Gardner’s path, my hubby’s financial path wasn’t smooth and it wasn’t yielding any immediate fruit; at least not enough fruit for our burgeoning family.

We went through really hard times and I never left, but I wanted to.  Not because I didn’t love him or because he didn’t make sound financial decisions (because he did), but because I was tired of the pressures of life: the constant hard times and endless bickering about everything; and the finances just made it worse.  I was weak.  And I didn’t have the emotional fortitude to live that kind of life – not after being raised with a sense of privilege.  Linda left, but I stayed.  Christ makes all the difference!

“But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!”  (1 Corinthians 15:57)

Believe in your husband and his vision for your family.  Trust him and follow him.  At one point in the movie after Linda has left, Chris asks his son, “Do you trust me?”  “Yes,” says his son.  “I need you to trust me,” replies Chris.  Our husbands need us to trust them.  If you can’t trust your husband at least trust in God.  He holds your very life in his hands.  There could be worse things than experiencing poverty due to falling on hard times.  You could have good times with no husband and a cold bed!  I’d rather have very little with my husband (and we’ve been there) than much without him.

Tiffiney

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