The 1 Thing Your Husband Must Have for Valentine’s Day

Yes, I have a big reveal for the one thing your husband MUST HAVE this Valentine’s Day.

But before we get so deep . . . a little birdie just told me that your hubby wants you to let him kick-back and enjoy his favorite show with his favorite beverage – super chilled!

He wants you to cook him a great steak (with fatty mashed potatoes) and not talk about his gut, his diet or the calories.

He wants you to give him a “clean whatever-it-is-that-he-usually-cleans” pass (that’s good for at least a week!).  These guys are super simple and easy to please.

And if you cook this Valentine’s Day, remember to wear your flirty apron (with stilettos and fish-net stockings) – but clothing is optional!  (Umm . . .  get rid of the kids first.)  😉 

Because, what he wants – MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE – is you…all wrapped up in a bow, wearing only your birthday suit!  (But you already knew that, right?)  Again, they are super easy to please.  Keep it simple and speak their language.  They use very few words – grunt mostly – and are very visual.  Keep.  It.  Simple!

Now onto the big reveal!

Because I’m a woman, I have to over-analyze and complicate this matter.  So, it’s time to get all deep and cerebral and talk about things that don’t involve “birthday suits” – but your husband will appreciate it just as much – if not more. (Am I kidding?!  This “MUST HAVE” will actually run neck-and-neck with nakedness and stilettos and flirty aprons – which, by the way, I will not be wearing – but they are soooo cute!)  Keep reading, your almost there.

I’ve read and heard preached the story of Hannah in the Bible multiple times.  You know, the one about the woman who could not conceive, and vowed to the Lord that if He gave her a child she would, in return, dedicate him unto the Lord?  Yes, that Hannah.

Well, Hannah was pretty miserable about being barren, and she was married to Elkinah, who had another wife named Peninnah.  Because Peninnah had kids (and she was petty and jealous and evil – I embellished) she taunted Hannah endlessly because she had none.  So, one day, when Hannah could take no more she got super depressed and sobbed bitterly and refused to eat. And when Eklinah saw Hannah sitting and weeping bitterly he said something to her that has always baffled me – I’ve never known what to make of it.

He said, “Hannah, why are you weeping?  Why don’t you eat?  Why are you downhearted?  DON’T I MEAN MORE TO YOU THAN TEN SONS?” (I Samuel 1:8 – emphasis mine.)

I’ve never really known what to make of that.  Did her husband really think that his love for her could replace the emptiness she felt in her womb?  Could he replace her longing to cradle a baby in her arms?  Could he satisfy her desire to nurse a baby at her breasts?  What exactly was Elkinah trying to say?!

Well, I recently heard a Pastor’s take on this scripture…and I have to say…it makes total sense to me now.  And it got me to thinking that the very thing Elkinah was trying to convey to his wife is the very thing every husband MUST HAVE for Valentine’s Day.  And that’s . . . wait for it . . . wait for it . . . APPRECIATION!

Most husbands put it all out there for their wife and kids.  They work hard to provide and they come home and lay it all on the table.  And honestly, they just want to know if they are enough.  They want to know that they are appreciated.  They want to know that we are thankful.

Elkinah loved his wife fiercely (his love for her leaps out between the verses of scripture).  She wasn’t able to give him children and it DIDN’T AFFECT his love for her one bit!  Peninnah gave him kids; yet when it was time for Elkinah to sacrifice, he gave Peninnah and her kids their meat portion, “but to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her” (1 Samuel 1:5).  I love to read about this kind of love!  Every woman wants to be loved like this.

There was simply nothing more that Elkinah could do . . . nothing more that he could give, no more love that he could muster-up.  He gave his ALL – in provision and love.

He knew that he loved Hannah abundantly!  Now, all he wanted to know was WHY WASN’T HE ENOUGH?

What more do we want ladies?  Do we make excuses for the humble status of our home when company comes over?  Do we make apologies for our humble furnishings?  Is our beat-up and broken-down minivan sufficient?  Do we indirectly remind our husbands that the life we are living is different than the one we had originally envisioned for ourselves?

Appreciation is the gift that will keep on givinglong after the flowers have withered, long after the dinner you’ve cooked has been consumed.

Your thankful heart builds-up your husband!  It fortifies him.  It inoculates him from a world which burdens and from women who lurk to ravish him.

This Valentine’s Day tell your husband, “Thank you.”  Then, begin to live out “Thank you” in a thousand little ways: express it with your hands – as he passes by and you touch him; say it with your eyes – as they look pleasingly at him and linger a bit longer than usual; speak well of him in front of the kids; and extol his virtue when talking to your neighbors.

Give him the gift that says: “You are enough.  I appreciate you.  Thank you.”  If you do, one day he just might “arise and call her [you] blessed; and praise you” (Proverbs 31:28 – strike-through and [you] is mine).

The Proverbs 31 woman | A wife of noble character . . .

11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

23Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

28Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

Ladies, Holla Back!:::Does this make sense – suggesting a free, no cost “gift” for Valentine’s Day? Have I gone too far?  Have I assumed too much?  What are your plans for Valentine’s Day? Post a comment to share or join the conversation on Facebook!


I shared this article at these amazing faith and family linkups.

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  1. What a wonderful post, Tiffany about what a husband truly needs. I recently wrote about Hannah too and was amazed about the grace that she faced her situation with. All most of us want is to be recognized by those we love. By the way I also write at and you stopped over for a visit and left a sweet comment. Blessings.

  2. You are so funny! I love your writing style! I’m glad you addressed the “one thing” I was already thinking! But so true that deep down our hubby’s need to feel appreciated. Have an awesome Valentine’s Day or as we call it Val and Tim’s Day!

    • Thank you, Val! Happy Valentine’s Day (or should I say Val and Tim’s Day) to you and your hubby, as well! Stay warm and enjoy the day!

  3. You are right on the money!! That is, in fact, what men really see as authentic love and care. Sometimes we can so much miss the obvious!! As a wife of 51 years and a Marriage and Family Therapist for nearly 30 years, let me affirm you that you have nailed it! Great to be your neighbor on the Missional Women linkup today!

    • Hey Pam!

      It’s so great to have you here. Wow! Married for 51 years? Congratulations! It means so much to have you affirm what I’ve shared. I hope and pray to be married that long as well. What a blessing that would be. Please stop by again soon. :o)

  4. I LOVE this post! You are so right. That is truly what our husbands want – appreciation. And respect, which are very closely related. I think this is a great post that every wife should read, so I shared it on my Facebook. I found you through Family, Friendship and Faith linkup but I will definitely be back. Great job encouraging women in their roles as Godly wives.

    • Oh my goodness, Rashel! Can I bottle you and keep you? Thank you sooo much for your kind words. They are so appreciated. And thank you for the Facebook share. Please do come back again, and I am looking forward to visiting your blog as well.


    • Hi Lyly!

      Thanks so much for stopping by. So glad you appreciated my post. I’m sharing what I’ve recently learned. It’s new to me too! (Yay!)

  5. Great advice! Great writing! I smiled through the whole thing. Appreciation is huge. I think they want to know that besides our relationship with the Lord, they are enough. We went through secondary infertility for years and I didn’t handle it well. That story of Hannah gets me every time. Thanks for sharing this truth-filled word. Blessings!

    • Hey Deb!

      I’m so glad this post really resonated with you (and that you smiled all the way through it!). Thanks so much for stopping by. Good to hear from you again.

    • Hey Anna, you’re not the only one still trying to work on that. I’m there with you! But at least we keep on trying. NEVER QUIT!!

      Thanks for stopping by!

  6. Lovely Lovely read, Tiffiney!
    Appreciation is a special gift.It goes a long way giving a nod of gratitude and sprinkling kinds words of thankfulness too.
    I like this post a lot.
    Thank you for sharing.
    God Bless

    • Hi Ifeoma!

      I stopped by your blog some time ago for a visit – but you were out! (Lol!) You were guest posting somewhere else in the blogosphere. :o) Good hearing from you again. I’m so glad you enjoyed the post and thanks for stopping by. :o)

  7. This became one of my very favorite stories when I experienced secondary infertility – and couldn’t have children after our first son. I loved that he wanted her to love him more than 10 sons – because I think that’s how much he must have loved her. I”ve never thought about that he needed encouragement. When she was crying and couldn’t be consoled, I can see that he felt like he was not enough to make her happy and it grieved him – and our husbands do want to know they are more than enough! I’m so glad you opened my eyes to this different dimension of the story I’d missed – it makes it so much more precious!

    • Hello Ms. Blue Cotton Memory. :o)

      The name of your blog intrigued me, so I just stopped by your blog before posting this response – and I was totally pulled in by your writing. I LOVE your blog! I’ll be visiting often. (I subscribed, too!) So glad that you enjoyed this post. Please stop back by soon. :o)

  8. Hey there, Tiffany! I was great to meet you back at my place, MM. And it’s ironic that you’re talking about Hannah and Elkanah because I just began a study of 1st Samuel this week. And I just read that particular passage on Monday, I think it was. I really love how you’ve brought insight to his feelings here. I do think we often forget how much our hubbies simply want to be appreciated and valued for who they are apart from our kids. So much of the time our kids become the focus–as they should be in certain ways. But to keep our marriage vibrant, we must make our relationship with our husband a priority that we invite our kids into and not the other way around. Thanks for your wise words, my friend!

    • Thanks for stopping by, Beth! I can’t wait to see what you post next in your series. (I’m subscribing now!)

      Be blessed!

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