First things first: How obnoxious of me to profess to know what your husband really wants for Valentine’s Day? I know, the nerve! But just hear me out. I’ve got a hunch about this one.
BUT…before I disclose what every husband really wants, not only on Valentine’s Day but all year long, there are a few other goodies that are sure to float his boat, make him drool, and cause his eyes to roll back in his head. I promise, there’s something here for every wife’s comfort level.
Let’s get to it…
- For the wife who’s looking to be in the “chill” zone: Let him kick-back and enjoy his favorite show (the one you hate to watch) with his favorite beverage – super chilled!
- For the wife who loves to cook: Make him a great steak with a side of mashed potatoes (but don’t mention his diet or the excess calories.)
- For the task oriented wife: Give him a “clean whatever it is that he usually cleans” pass – one that’s good for at least a week! (These guys are super simple and easy peasy to please.)
- For the wife who’s a flirt: If you do cook that steak, or any of his favorites, remember to wear your flirty apron with stilettos! Beware, you might not get the meal cooked. (Umm . . . get rid of the kids first.) 😉
- For the wife whose motto is Go big or go home: Give the gift of yourself, wrapped up in a lovely red bow, wearing only your birthday suit! It’s probably #1 on his list anyway. (But you already knew that, right?)
Remember, these men are super easy to please. So keep it simple and speak their language. They use very few words – grunt mostly – and are very visual. Keep. It. Simple!
Now onto the big reveal!
In the spirit of being a woman who has the tendency to over-analyze and complicate matters, I’ll do just that.
So, it’s time for me to get all deep and cerebral, and talk about things that don’t involve nudity, stilettos, or flirty aprons, but your husband will appreciate it just as much, if not more!
Have you read the story of Hannah in the Bible?
You know, the one about the woman (in 1 Samuel 1) who could not conceive, and then vowed to the Lord that if He gave her a child, she would, in return, give him back to the Lord?
Yep, that Hannah.
I’ll use her story to illustrate my point.
Hannah, who was pretty miserable about being barren, was married to Elkinah, who had another wife named Peninnah.
And Because Peninnah had children (and she was petty, jealous, and evil – I embellished) she taunted Hannah endlessly because she was childless.
So, one day when Hannah was at her wits end, she became depressed, sobbed bitterly, and refused to eat.
And when Eklinah saw Hannah sitting and weeping bitterly he said something to her that has always baffled me . . .
“Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don’t you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons.” (I Samuel 1:8)
Elkinah’s statement has always baffled me as a wife and mom.
Did he really think that his love for Hannah could replace the emptiness she felt in her womb?
Could he replace her longing to cradle a baby in her arms?
Could he satisfy her desire to nurse a baby at her breasts?
What exactly was Elkinah trying to say?
Well, after hearing a pastor’s take on this scripture it makes total sense to me now.
And it got me to thinking that the very thing Elkinah was trying to convey to his wife is the very thing every husband REALLY WANTS for Valentine’s Day (and every day, in fact).
And that is . . .
. . . wait for it,
. . . wait for it,
It may sound like an over simplified concept, but let’s think about this for a moment.
Most husbands put it all out there for their wife and kids. They work hard to provide and they come home and lay it all on the table.
And honestly, they just want to know if they are enough.
They want to know that they are appreciated.
They long to know that their wife is thankful.
Truth is, Elkinah loved his wife Hannah fiercely. His love for her leaps out between the verses of scripture we find in her story.
No, Hannah wasn’t able to give him children, but that DIDN’T affect his love for her one bit.
Yes, Peninnah gave him kids, but when it was time for Elkinah to sacrifice he gave Peninnah and her kids their meat portion, “but to Hannah he gave a double portion because he loved her” (1 Samuel 1:5).
Elkinah’s love for Hannah was lavish.
There was simply nothing more that he could do.
Nothing more that he could give.
No more love that he could muster.
He gave his ALL in provision and love.
He knew that he loved Hannah abundantly. Now all he wanted to know was why wasn’t he enough?
What more do we want ladies?
It’s time for some introspection.
- Do we make excuses for the humble status of our home when we entertain guests?
- Do we make apologies for our less than Pinterest perfect life?
- Is our family vehicle, the one that’s on life support, sufficient? (That bloody clunker!)
- Do we indirectly remind our husband that the life we are living is somewhat less than the one we had envisioned for ourselves?
Would your husband ever have to ask you if his love is enough? If his provision is sufficient?
Even if his love and provision is less than you had hoped for, you can always find something to be grateful for.
A grateful heart doesn’t come from our circumstances; it’s cultivated in a heart that is crafted by God’s word.”
Appreciation is the gift that will keep on giving.
Long after the Valentine’s Day flowers have withered; long after the dinner you’ve cooked has been consumed.
Your thankful heart builds-up your husband! It fortifies him. It inoculates him from a world which burdens, and from women who seek to entice him.
So, this Valentine’s Day tell your husband, “Thank you.” Then, begin to demonstrate your thankful heart in a thousand little ways.
Express it with a touch, as he passes by and you caress him.
Say it with your eyes, as they look pleasingly at him and linger a bit longer than usual.
Speak well of him in front of your kids, and extol his virtue when talking with your neighbors.
Give him the gift that says: “You are enough. I appreciate you. Thank you.”
If you do, one day he just might “arise and call you blessed; and praise you” . . .
Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her (Proverbs 31:28).
May you have the best Valentine’s Day ever!
Hugs and Kisses,
Hey Ladies: What are your plans for Valentine’s Day? Which wife are you most like? Post a comment below or join in the conversation over on Facebook!
Come and check out where I party.
Rebecca Hastings says
What a great encouragement that goes far beyond Valentine’s Day! Any time we can show our husbands how much they are appreciated it will benefit our marriages. Happily tweeted 🙂
Michele Morin says
This is good, Tiffiney, and it’s so easy to lose sight of in the craziness of life.
Thanks, Tiffiney! I’ve never seen the Hannah story in that light before. I was always thinking, “Yeah, Big E, you can’t fill a child’s place in a woman’s heart, no matter how great you are.” And that Peninnah, don’t you just want to slap her? But I love how you pointed out that E gave her a double portion because he loved her and wanted to be enough for her, and that it didn’t matter to him that she couldn’t give him children even though in that culture it was of utmost importance. I can remember being mean to my husband once (just once, mind you) and he responded with such love…instead of biting back he said, “I think you need to be taken to lunch, and then we will go exchange those slippers so that you can have something warm for your feet.” Yes, I’m married to a good man!
You’re a hoot, Janine! I just love how your husband responded to you when you are not at your best. That’s my aim, to respond kindly to my husband when he is not at his best. Oh, the challenges! 🙂
Jennifer Wise says
I think you are right–appreciation is IT. I have always loved Elkenah’s tender question. As great and important as children are, the husband-wife relationship is just as important. Appreciation is a wonderful gift.
I couldn’t agree more, Jenifer. Thank for stopping by to comment. Looking forward to joining your linkup next week.
Lisa notes says
Whew—being appreciative is easier than shopping for a big red bow. lol. Thanks for this reminder that the heart of the matter is always the heart of the matter!
Funny, Lisa! I think being appreciative is also much easier than wearing the bow! 🙂
Andrew Budek-Schmeisser says
Great post! I’m a bit late to the conversation, but it may be fitting, as I’m a bit of an outlier.
I’ve got two kinds of lethal cancer, and I don’t really want appreciation; I know I’m doing well; I’m fighting hard, and this is the finest hour of my life.
What I really DO want is to see my wife prepare to move forward into a life that will be happy and rewarding after my death. I don’t want her future years to be a monument to me.
Maybe a poem, composed just for this comment, says it better.
This battle’s gone on far to long
and I’m quite at home with strife.
I don’t need you to sing my song;
I need you to get a life.
There is nothing here that’s tragic,
so darling, dry your eyes.
Faith and hope are not magic,
and everybody dies.
You will walk out in a new day
leaving me behind;
I don’t want my death in any way
to be your life defined.
So square your shoulders, try to smile;
my love’s with you for every mile.
Hey Andrew, I am completely blown away by your comment, particularly your poem. You say you don’t want appreciation from your wife, but I’m sure she’s giving you plenty of it because it’s clear that you love her dearly and are concerned with her every happiness – both now, and in your future absence (should that be God’s will). I also love that you recognized this as your finest hour, in spite of what you’re facing. Of course your wife will need time to grieve, but have faith that the Lord will see her through her toughest days. I will be in prayer for you both during this trying time. Blessings to you both and thank you so much for stopping by to comment. It’s always nice when the fella’s stop by. 🙂
This is so true – we all want to be appreciated. And often it’s such a simple thing to show appreciation with an encouraging word or an act of kindness but it’s the best gift we can give.
Hey Lesley, showing appreciation is a pretty simple thing to do, and still I struggle with it. Thank God for his patience with us. (Guess I should thank my husband, too.) ?
Great post, Tiffany! I think you are exactly right – we all want to feel appreciated. Thank you for your great telling of Hannah’s story. Elkinah’s reaction makes complete sense when viewed through a lens of appreciation. Perfect Valentine’s Day story!
Thanks for stopping by, Laurie!