This is not the first time I’ve written a blog post titled Letting Go Is Hard to Do.
I believe in the world of blogging that may equal a “fail,” but truly, it’s all I got.
There are so many ways as parents that we have to let go . . .
Maybe a kid heads off to college, enters the military, or lands a new job in another state; but even when the letting go is an age appropriate milestone – one filled with happiness and joy – it can still leave a state-sized hole in a parent’s heart.
My latest hole in the heart life experience was marrying off our second oldest daughter.
You see, almost 30 days ago my husband gave our little girl away; he passed the baton to a man who pledged to love our little Angel (her actual name) in sickness and in health, until death parts them.
My new son-in-law pledged many other noble things to my daughter, but most of it flew right over my head because when they took their vows, I was lost in the moment . . . I was raptured in joyous emotion.
Their ceremony was the culmination of an exciting year that was filled to the brim with wedding prep and planning. Some of the highlights included:
Trying to figure out which venue was just right.
Pouring hours into choosing and personalizing wedding invites.
Collating, stuffing, stamping and licking said invites, on deadline!
Creating a custom wedding website.
Bridal registry registration.
Throwing a surprise bridal shower.
Hosting a meet-and-greet barbecue to welcome the groom’s Canadian family.
Researching and interviewing vendors (flowers, DJ, photographer, videographer, cake, limo, etc.).
Choosing wedding party attire, and
Trying to perfectly time my son-in-law’s entrance into the country for the wedding to meet the requirements of his visa.
Seriously, planning the wedding was super labor intensive!
And though it was hard work, it was incredibly gratifying work. I was over-the-moon delighted to help make my daughter’s dreams come true.
But let’s be clear: it virtually consumed my life for an entire year.
Now I know why Jesus referenced something as significant as a wedding when He spoke of His second coming (in Matthew 24:38). A wedding is an epic event; there’s something about planning a wedding that tends to consume a person’s life.
When the wedding was over I was relieved to know that there would be NO MORE WORK! for this mom (who blew out her last quarter of homeschooling on wedding prep. Who needs to conjugate Latin verbs when you can shop for shoes?).
And I happily fell into a sleep-coma for three days straight.
Then I woke up, and there was . . . nothing.
Nooooooothhhhing . . .
N.O.T.H.I.N.G! to do.
It was ALL over.
Just like that. In an instant!
I looked around but there was no Angel. (Apparently, honeymooning is a real thing.)
And when she returned to her new home (very close to where we live), it was like she didn’t even know us.
She didn’t ring our bell or call.
I was certain that hunger would eventually flush her out and cause her to run home for a home cooked meal; but it didn’t.
When I cried to my sisters at church the following Sunday (yes, I’m mortified to confess that I shed tears), they set me straight and told me to back-off with as much Christian love as they could muster. (Back-off mom! She’s living on love. Give the girl some space.)
When I complained the following week to different circle of church sisters, telling them that I still hadn’t seen much of my Angel, they lovingly
set me straight as well reassured me that this was the normal course of action for newly-weds.
Well, now that I’ve been sufficiently schooled, set-straight, delivered and healed, I have no expectation to entertain the newly-weds until, um…perhaps they begin to starve and feed off of their fat cells?
My life with Angel went from a flurry of pre-wedding activity . . . to almost dead silence.
Nothing prepared me for that. Someone should have written a book on that (or at least a lousy blog post).
Oh, the joys of motherhood!
What about you? Were you as pitiful as me when your kid(s) flew the nest, or did you bolt the door, draw the blinds and do a hallelujah dance? Post a comment below to share. I’d love to know!
I’ve shared this post at these fabulous faith and family link-ups.
Elements of Ellis says
My daughter is almost 10 months old and sometimes I think about all the milestones that are too come and then I get overwhelmed and have to stop thinking about them. lol. I can’t even imagine what it must feel like to see your baby girl get married…I think I need to call my mom now and tell her how much I love her.
Hi Kacie: Yes, that would be a fabulous idea! Please call your mom and love on her. I know she’d be so grateful. 🙂
OH I can’t imagine that day yet. My oldest just started middle school this week, and she wanted to walk to the bus stop by herself the second day. Yes, I cried. She doesn’t need me!
But yes, I agree. Give Angel some time to come back to reality. She loves you and will need your guidance! Congratulations!
Hi Sarah! It seems no matter what the age, our little ones are looking for some degree of independence. And I know it’s a good thing – even when it’s slightly painful. Thanks for stopping by!