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Take Courage, Girlfriend! You Can Do This.

Take Courage . . .

If you are presently in need of a family-life cheerleader, this post is for you!

…I’ve got my pom-poms ready!

Take Courage, Girlfriend! You can do this

The stormy waves of family life

It’s no secret that life is messy, unpredictable, and full of bumps in-the-road; particularly when it comes to family-life.

Just the day-to-day routine of juggling marriage and motherhood can cause a gal to pluck out her lashes one-by-one.

And there are so many lash-plucking scenarios:

Perhaps you and your hunk-of-a-husband . . .

  • constantly bicker about finances,
  • are at odds over how to discipline the kids,
  • do not see eye-to-eye on spiritual matters, or
  • have opposing views about whether you should work outside of the home.

Maybe as a mom . . .

  • you struggle daily with disciplining the kiddos (No! Duct tape and blow darts are NOT options.),
  • you’re overwhelmed with the task of managing multiple little ones,
  • the daily demands of cooking and cleaning are driving you up-the-wall, or
  • you loooooonnng for a moment of quiet and solitude.  (Click here for a creative and sneaky way to get a mom respite.)

 

I’ve been where you are

If you’ve been hanging around this blog for any length of time, you’re well aware that I am no stranger to the hardships of family-life.

You see, I had everything all figured out – that is, until I got married and had kids; and that’s exactly when everything started to fall apart.

Every enchanted notion I entertained about how satisfying marriage could be; every fairy tale fantasy about raising kids and having a happy home – none of it was how I had imagined it to be

In college, I was a star student, excelling in academics and extracurricular activities – I was a student leader, an all-around great gal (mostly); but when it came to house and home, I was a hot mess!

 

Barely managing motherhood . . .

At one point, I had three kids under three – all of them wearing pull-ups or diapers, and a 10-year-old.

There was always a diaper to change, a bottle to prepare, a high chair to wipe and a spill to be cleaned; always a floor to mop, and a bath to be given.

Life was so labor intensive.

These little people were needy and were seeking my attention all of the time (stuff that college degree didn’t prep me for).

My arms were always full.  They were always climbing up my legs.  They drained me emotionally.  It seemed I hadn’t slept through the night in years.

That’s pretty much when I figured out birth control. (But before you decide to call it quits on the kids, read this post.  It’s one of my favorites.)

 

As for my marriage . . .

This diplomatic person (moi), who always had a reputation for getting along with everyone, was now constantly bickering with her husband (poor guy).

Turns out that this sweet, smiling face, behind closed doors, was given to fits of rage, and I was not above throwing household items.  (Quick! Duck, Honey!)

I was more than a hot mess . . . I was becoming a monster.

(Truth is, however, that my circumstances were simply revealing my true character – and were exposing the areas of my life that I needed to surrender to Christ.  I wasn’t becoming a monster, the beast was already within.  Thank God for the transformative work of the Holy Spirit in the Believer’s life.)

When I hit rock bottom . . .

My absolute lowest point came the day when all the ugly realities of my life came crashing down on me.

It was the cumulative effect of my realization that: (1) the cooking and cleaning marathon would NEVER end, (2) I was stuck in a difficult marriage, and (3) I was not emotionally mature enough to take on so many kids at once.  (Where did all these little people come from? Waiter, CHECK PLEASE!)

In that moment, I ran into my room, crouched down beside my bed and began to sob uncontrollably; holding my head intensely as I rocked back and forth. I was certain that if let go my brain would seep out.

Yes . . . I had an official I am loosing my mind episode. 

Down, but not out . . . because of Jesus

In that pitiful moment, I remember refusing to accept my reality.

“No, God, No!  PLEASE, No!”  It was just ALL. TOO. MUCH.

I’m not certain what happened in the moments following, but I’m sure it involved being scooped-up by my husband and placed in the bed, where I received a sponge bath and was fed applesauce for dinner.

They probably took away my belt and shoe laces, too.

All jokes aside, that has got to be the epitome of what it means to be overcome by the realities of family-life; and if someone like me can rebound from that pitiful expression of “woe is me” and then go on to experience a deeply satisfying marriage and home life, then certainly, you can, too!

{pin it!}

Girlfriend, Take Courage!

Yes, the stormy waves of marriage and motherhood were taking me under, but I’m not the only one who’s been in a predicament where the waves were about to engulf them.

The Gospel of Matthew tells us that one stormy night Peter stepped out of a boat that was being buffeted by waves and began to walk on water toward Jesus, but when Peter began to doubt and took his eyes off of Jesus – the One who gives us complete calm and peace in the midst of our storms – he began to sink.  (Matthew 14:22-32)

Even so, what did Peter do in his moment of fear and despair?  He cried out to the Lord . . .

 “But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”  (Matthew 14:30)

That is exactly what Jesus wants us to do when we are battered and weather beaten by the storms of family-life.

Cry out to Jesus for help!

Ask Him for the strength you need to rise above the difficult storms of marriage and motherhood.

When you do, “Immediately” He will be right there – ready to grab your hand and pull you up emotionally and spiritually.

“Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.”  (Matthew 14:31)

He will give you the emotional grit and spiritual strength you need to endure and overcome your circumstances.

 

Back to the applesauce in bed scenario . . .

Like Peter, I also cried out to the Lord for help in my time of distress.

I grabbed a hold of Jesus’ hand and He was faithful to pull me up from the waves (family-life circumstances) that were certain to take me under.

I not only cried out my eyeballs, I cried out my heart to the Lord in prayer; and I had to get a whole lot more of His word, the Holy Bible, deep down into my heart.

The more I surrendered to the life changing precepts found in God’s word – the more God changed my heart.

The more I obeyed the Spirit’s gentle leading – the more I began to grow in faith and bear fruit in my home.

Listen-up! Girlfriend, Sister, Big Momma, Boo – I NEED YOU TO KNOW ONE THING:

Take Courage!  With Jesus, You can do this!

And I’ll be right here with pom-poms in hand, cheering you on.  Love, Tiffiney

Take Action!

A Home Builders Heart Response . . .

♥ I will cry out to the Lord in prayer for the emotional grit and the spiritual strength I need to bear fruit in my home.  “The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.”  Psalm 34:17

♥ I will read God’s word daily so that I can grow in faith and understand His will for my family.  All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, … and training in righteousness…”  2 Timothy 3:16-17  

♥ I will trust that God is ordering the affairs of my home, and that no matter how bad things may seem, He is able to make something beautiful of it.  “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” Proverbs 14:1

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Comments

  1. Yes and Amen! I am far removed from these years of Littles and Newly-ish-wed life… but I will share this post with those who are right in the thick of it because we all need these reminders from time to time! Great post!

    • Hey Karrilee, thank you for helping to spread the word about the hope that Jesus Christ offers. I appreciate the share.

  2. Tiffiney, there are just so many hope-filled encouragements and truths in this post! I’m reminded of how often my emotions drive me in so many areas of my life. and how I get into trouble by not “waiting on the Lord and allowing Him to infuse me with the courage it takes to wait while inviting Him to work. You are such a hope-writer!! So glad you shared this on Fresh Market Friday, friend:)

    • Hey Crystal , this is a hope-filled post based on the hope-filled truths found in God’s word. I’m so grateful that we have God’s Word to inspire us and encourage us on in the faith when we are at our lowest. Thanks for stopping by!

  3. Thank you for your honesty about motherhood, we all hit our spot sometime and turning to God is right where we need to go. Thank you for sharing on Grace & Truth.

  4. I remember when I cried out and surrendered. With God’s help we can do this. I did this. He provided what I needed moment by moment and like you I can encourage other women.

    Thank God for you and your ministry.

    • Amen Nylse! He is ever present and ever faithful! Keep encouraging others with only the hope that He can provide. Blessings!

  5. Thank you, Tiffiney, this made me smile and also give me hope. I love this line – ‘exposing the areas of my life that I needed to surrender to Christ. I wasn’t becoming a monster, the beast was already within.’ And ‘the more I surrendered to the life changing precepts found in God’s word – the more God changed my heart.’ I’ve come to realize that surrender is not a one-time done-deal. Sometimes, we surrender that beast within in degrees. Thankfully, God is always there ready and waiting to gently mold me and shape me. So grateful for His transforming power. Thanks for cheering me on! Blessed Easter to you and yours!

    • Hey Carlie, I’ve have surrendered time and time again, myself…so I totally get it. So glad you stopped by. The smiles are on the house. Please come again.

  6. Tiffany, your post is so relatable. You are so right. We can do a stellar job in one area of our life, like academics, and then fall apart in another, like motherhood. Yes, some days being a monk in a cave sounds pretty appealing. But we can’t live isolated in quiet. We need to live in the trenches where our heart is revealed so we will reach out to God and ask him to change our hearts and help us. And he always does.

    • Yes, thank God for his faithfulness, Theresa. He is always right there, ready and waiting to help us. Thanks for stopping by.

  7. Sometimes, I just remind myself that Jesus saves! Thanks for this encouragement, Tiffiney. And it’s so true that spending time in the Word can work wonders for ours heart. Blessings to you.

    • The occasional reminder that Jesus alone saves…priceless. Something I have to do as well from time to time. Thanks for stopping by, Boma!

  8. So thankful that God is “our refuge and strength” at every phase of life and parenting. I really pictured a much more organized and productive me at this point — but I have so much to learn and so much growing to do!

  9. Tiffiney, this post is so accurate! My guys are teens now, and I still have those pluck-out-my-eyelashes moments. It’s true. Motherhood is the hardest calling God has ever entrusted to me, and there is no way I could do this without God. Time with Him, lots of prayer and spending time with other moms in the trenches have been the most effective things on this journey.

    Thanks for sharing this encouragement!

    I’m visiting from Jennifer Dukes Lee’s place. :). It’s nice to “meet” you!

    • Hey Jeanne, if you think life with teenagers is interesting, get ready for life with young adults – somewhere between 18 and 23. Thankfully, we know where out strength comes from! And those other ladies in the trenches – they are priceless. Thanks for stopping by. Hope to see you next week. 🙂

  10. Great encouragement, Tiffany! Motherhood is TOUGH! Thank you for providing hope, cheerleading, and encouragement to worn-out mommas! I’ll be sharing this post with my younger friends. Our babies have left the nest. I’m so glad you stumbled across Inspire Me Monday! Welcome!

    • Anita, I’m so glad this post resonated with you. And thank you for sharing with the moms of the littles. We all need a little hope and cheering on! Thanks for stopping by!

  11. Such wonderful advice, spoken from someone who’s been there done that, Tiffiney! You certainly have learned lessons, like me, from the school of hard knocks (I like to say!). And your encouragement to turn to Jesus is exactly what I did and continue to do–since life really never gets easier! In fact, I’m typing this with a fractured elbow on one arm! I broke it last Friday and am still waiting for the cast, but this ugly splint and sling are doing the trick until then. But they told me I could still type! So that’s exactly what I’m doing–persevering through the storms and difficulties as usual! Lovely to visit your place again! I’ve missed you since my linkups went away! Have a great week, my friend!

    • I remember the day I cried out and surrendered, too. Pretty much in that same position you mention! Only mine was in my bedroom closet (it was a walk-in closet so …) But it’s the moment we get to the end of us and let Jesus begin, we find a new freedom. One that holds a WHOLE LOT more victory

      Love this, Tiffiney! Thanks so much in joining me each week to share hope ♥

      Hugs,
      Lori

    • Hey Beth! I’m so excited that you stopped by. I wish I wasn’t a regular student in the school of hard knocks – but apparently, I am. LOL! I have missed your link up. I did stop by your site one day and you were “out”, you had a guest blogger. LOL! I’m so sorry to hear about your elbow, but glad to hear that you are persevering in spite of it. I’ll stop back by your place soon. Feel better. 🙂

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